In the past month, Chris had knee surgery, which took much longer to heal than we anticipated, I shot a kids clothing line with over 10 ten little ones, was asked to do a shoot for a large company out of California, got my two older ones back to college, and finished a wedding album. I feel like I am just now coming back to myself, having been stretched beyond my experience in the photography world, and feeling deeply the grief of watching my birdies fly again after a brief respite in our home.

There is so much to say here, and yet I feel like there is a stopper in the drain, not allowing any of it to flow out onto the keyboard. Going to give it my best effort.

I have a few photos here, to document our time in the past couple weeks. First, Annie and Johnny and I got to work on a project together where I actually got paid to photograph one of my own children. Annie got to model for a large company, the details which I will omit for privacy reasons, and Johnny was my tech assistant on the shoot. It was so exciting and scary for me. I got to hire a hair and make up stylist for the first time, (yes, I am a newbie), find a location and go make it happen. We went to Seabrook Island close to Charleston, SC . We hired the fantastic Ashley Brook Perryman as our hair and make up stylist. It was a weekend of firsts. My first time working with two of my kids on a professional shoot, my first time hiring a stylist, and my first time getting two tickets in the same weekend.  Evidently you really can’t park in a handicap space at the beach, and my tag had expired. Ugh!

We stayed at a wonderful friend of a friend’s house and took care of their sweet dog. It was a great experience, and there are so many parts of the trip where I felt God was so for me and with me, like the fact that the thunderstorms came all around us that day, but waited to fall on us when we closed our car doors to leave. Or the fact that I had gotten permission from the one security guy who would have given it to me to come on the island through a phone call I made earlier in the week. Thank you Officer Kreinbrook. Sorry if we got you in trouble.

Here are a few of Annie getting made up for her day. I did not shoot many other photos of the trip. Finally got most of the sand out of my gear.

It was a good experience overall. We have yet to see what comes of it. But I have made friends with some incredible people in the process and am so thankful for that.

This next section is the part where my heart breaks every year at this time. It is the time of endings, and beginnings. That place where it feels like it is all over and you dangle helplessly over that divide where the bridge runs out, and you don’t know if there is an invisible step just beneath you, like in the Indiana Jones movie, and he remembers it is a “leap of faith”. Then he steps and all is well, and let’s just say, that’s the movies.

It was time for Annie to head back to the Olgefort at Oglethorpe University where she has spent the last two years, making wonderful friends and becoming more independent. (As if that last part were possible.) We were having a family night and as I set the table with five plates, I began to cry. Okay, weep. You know those tears that come from the deepest reservoirs in you. Tears that bring a sigh and relief with every drop. I had been carrying them around for weeks. I couldn’t stop. Set the table. Cry. Turn over the meat for the fajitas. Cry. Ice in the glasses. More crying. When the kids got to the table I was a mess. I think they all made a decision right there and then that it was their mission to cheer me up. There is nothing worse than a blubbering mom at the dinner table.

After dinner we were trying to decide how to spend our family night and the subject of playing games came up.  We were bantering back and forth about  what to play when Johnny blurted ,” Let’s play Texas Hold’em and  dress the part!”. I hardly knew what happened when everyone flew out of the room. Now, mind you, we don’t play with real money, (we don’t have any!), and we really don’t play at all, but Johnny and Chris love to watch the World Series of Poker, with all it’s interesting characters.

It wasn’t long until Jim Dawson entered the room.

After him was Susie May, with her jean shorts, cowgirl boots, and (fake) cigar.

She was followed by Cassandra Maria Martinez.

Luke was next. ( he’s a hottie):)

I was Wylene, Luke’s old lady,tattoo and all, that said Chris, or uh Luke, with a big red heart. I didn’t make the photos but I did make the video. Maybe I can post that one later.

Here is the whole motley crew. I love these people. They are a light in my life.

It was a good night, with a full on dance party in the kitchen and den, as is our custom, and my heart felt lighter.

The next day, I took Annie Bug back to the fort, and the tears came again.

I ended the day with a movie by myself, something I haven’t done in ages. It was definitely a chick flick, and I loved the mini community I felt with the other women in the theater.

As I was reading my Bible about three weeks ago, before all of this happened, I came across a scripture that brought me much peace. I cling to it now, amidst all of the changes, not knowing which direction some of these ventures will go.

It is found in Isaiah 66:2 The Message Version, “But there is something that I am looking for: a person who is simple and plain, reverently responding to what I say”.

I think I have the simple and plain part, and I am thankful that God loves that and is even seeking it. I pray I can get the part where I reverently respond to His words. He holds me tight in a world that moves so quickly and wants to take me off my feet. He never changes, and for that I am grateful.

How could this not be my favorite photo this week? This is my freckled-sunshine-Annie girl. Those Hydrangeas were just begging to bring out the blue in her eyes. She begrudgingly posed for this. I was in the middle of another shoot, and she was in the middle of working on one of her two summer jobs. I held the soft petals against her face and said a name of someone she holds dear. We won’t say whom. All I can say is she lost her resolve to make me stop, and gave me a soft and pensive smile. She told me I cheated. Maybe I did. Look what I got? Magic. My summer girl.

This is the view from our balcony this week in Colorado. We are on a family vacation this week. One that I have looked forward to for some time. I have needed the rest so badly. When we first got to our location, my heart fell silent. I couldn’t believe both the extravagance and the generosity of the people who are allowing us to stay in their home. It is, hands down, the most beautiful place I have ever stayed in my whole life.

All I could feel was gratitude. I was so thankful to my Father in Heaven who seems to take delight in surprising me with His never ending goodness. Thankful for our friends who so lavishly gifted us with this week in such a beautiful home. No detail has been left unattended to.

Here is an excerpt from my journal that I wrote after awaking the morning after our arrival.

“That feeling you get as a tear begins to form in your heart and move it’s way from the intangible to the visible –  is beautiful and I do not resist it. I embrace it. Yes, I will weep and I don’t have to ask why. Just – cry. It makes me feel alive. I am inside myself- I am living my life and not just carrying the lives of those around me. I am so grateful. A single tear reminds me of all these things. So thankful. I don’t have to figure it all out. I just have to respond and surrender.

When I look at the extravagance of this house, and then the mountains, this blue blue sky, I pause to think that God is so much bigger than any way I could possibly imagine Him to be. I could hardly speak when I got here yesterday. My mind was shut down by the overwhelming beauty, but my heart was saying “yes”. Just “yes”.  Isn’t it like God to think of every detail- like when He built the temple- every measurement well thought out, to build something so glorious and extravagant. And then, to give it freely to us, who couldn’t possibly conceive all He had done. ( Jesus eventually represented the temple, also freely given.)

‘ Such things are too wonderful for me, to lofty to attain.’~ Psalm 139:6. But we still say ‘yes’. We say ‘yes’ and ‘Thank You’.”

Enjoy some of the photos I have taken so far of this glorious place. Colorado.

So fun! Here are the results.

May you have a surprise storm in your life this week. The refreshing kind.

Here are some pictures of her and her two youngest boys just playing on her farm. She has baby chicks right now and I loved just walking around observing and photographing all of it combined. Joy, sunshine, laughter, innocence and just sweetness. Wish I could do that all time. I hope you enjoy the photos as much as I did shooting them.

I met Salena  almost three years ago when she interviewed to be part of the dance ministry at 12Stone Church. We arranged to meet at the local Starbucks and I had not yet seen her in person but only communicated with her via email. When she walked in the door, I was taken with her sense of fashion and how put together she seemed. She was donning a sleek creme trench coat she had purchased while on a trip to London with her husband, Sean.  We hit it off right away. I found her easy to talk to and her laughter and heart for God contagious. I had not yet seen her dance, but I felt sure if she could dance even a little,  she would be a great addition to the wonderful team of girls I lead.  My intuition was right, and she soon became a team favorite, always keeping everyone laughing, and her dancing was so elegant and strong.

Now, she and her husband Sean are expecting their first baby. I was so excited when she asked me to do her maternity photos. I knew it would be fun. Salena and Sean love style so much it is their baby girl’s middle name. So, of course, we couldn’t do a typical maternity shoot for this fashionista.

See if you agree!

This is a leaving face.  You know the one. It says, ” I am sorry this is hard for you, I really am. I am doing my best to be sorry. However,  I am so excited about going on this trip that I am about to explode, so take the picture quick. I can only hold this pitiful face for so long.”

This is my Annie right before she left with several others from the Water’s Edge Missions Team for Liberia.

I have known about this trip for months, and have had an unsteady feeling in my legs, as if the earth were about to move. Africa, after all, is on the other side of the world. If not technically, it is to a mother’s heart. A little over a week ago, they each invited a person to come  to their regular prayer time to pray for each of them specifically. Annie chose me. I felt honored, because I knew she didn’t do it just because I am her mom. She knows and trusts that I will pray for her and her team. As we prayed, I felt convicted to repent of holding her too closely, and not wanting to share her with the world. As tears streamed down my cheeks, I opened my hands to signify letting her go, and I asked God to forgive me for holding on to my Annie bird, and gave her permission to fly. We have often called her Annie bird, and it seems so fitting now, as she literally is now flying around the world to touch other lands and faces. How I love my Annie bird. I have tried my best as a momma to entrust her to the One who loves her the most. My Father who sees all and knows all. I am so thankful He is also the One who is able to help her in her time of need, even when momma bird is still at home singing prayers to Him.

There is something else. The day she left, I had a strange sensation. I felt that God was opening her world to her like He never has before. This is not so strange in and of itself, but I also felt that He was opening MY world through Annie’s journey. Like she was taking steps that would lessen the chasm from here to distant lands for me as well. My daughter was paving a way for me too somehow. I cannot explain it, but I am grateful for it. She is preparing the way for many, and I am one of them.

Before they left, they tied colorful ribbon around all their luggage. Some of the parents put some on their wrists to help them remember to pray. ( As if we need reminders). Danielle, one of the team leaders, put one on my camera strap. That was a good place.

Here are some more photos of the team before they left. Looking forward to the fruit that will come from their journey!

Their mom, Kelly, is one of my dearest friends. She is wonderful through and through. She is a veterinarian, and therefore an instant hero for me. I always wanted to be one when I was a kid, but lacked the chemistry grades in high school.  She has both beauty and brains. You can’t beat it. There is always a potpourri of different animals and rescues at her place. She has a heart of gold and the animals always seem to find her. I am always at home there myself. It is a good place to be.

Enjoy the beautiful Anderson boys.~

Aren’t they wonderful?