Bokeh Melodies

Canon 5D Mark ll, 50 1.2L, 1.2 aperture, 1/40 shutter speed, 500 ISO

Everyone has gone to bed. The house is quiet as I walk into the room where our Christmas tree still stands with all her lights shining. My chest tightens as I feel the weight of an ending coming into view. I begin to weep. I am not ready. I brush the soft needles of the frasier fir with my fingertips, as tears smear the lights into a dreamy blur.

It’s not the tree, I know this. It’s what it represents. Time moves on. Things come to an end. I reach up and touch Katie’s ballet slipper ornament. Each one holds a memory, each put on by the hands of those I love most.

I want to hold it somehow, but I can’t. Ornaments have to be put away. Children have to pack their bags and go back to school. Just when I got used to the laughter, the singing, the clinking of dishes in the kitchen and the slam of the mudroom door. I will miss the chatter upstairs of sisters sharing stories, and songs being written on the sofa in the light of this tree.

I am not ready for this ending. Tomorrow we will pack up decorations and discuss plans for a new season. I will write my last post on this 365 project. Time to move forward. I let the remaining tears I have been unknowingly storing up fall onto flannel pajamas and open hands.

I turn off the switch and the tree fades into the darkness. It is time to be brave and trust the One who turns the seasons with His gentle and strong hands.

For what are endings except the edges of  new beginnings?

Psalm 33:20-22 ~”We wait in hope for the LORD;  he is our help and our shield.  In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you.”

It's Magic

Canon 5D Mark ll, 50 1.2L,  1.6 aperture, 1/40 shutter, 500 ISO,  intentionally out of focus

I am a bokeh girl. Beautiful  bokeh speaks calm and sweetness to my soul. It is why I love my 50 1.2 L and my 70-200 2.8 L lenses. Both create a creamy dreamy background when they are used in their widest aperture or f stop. Still seeking simplicity, I shot a couple of these intentionally out of focus as Chris and I were driving around looking at Christmas lights tonight. Such a simple joy.

If you would like to know more about Bokeh and how to achieve it in your own photographs, there is nice tutorial here. Some of the images there are amazing and I want to try them!

Blessings and may you dream in beautiful bokeh tonight.

Psalm 34:7 ~”Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Merry Tree

I am in love with bokeh. For non photogs, that is the beautiful blur of colors and circles you get in the background when you shoot with a shallow depth of field. It makes me feel giddy when I see it in my own work, and somewhat jealous when I see it in other people’s work. Like all beautiful bokeh should somehow be mine. Yes, give me a serving of colorful bokeh and a dash of sun flare in my photos and I am happy girl. Recently, I took the plunge and purchased the incredible Canon 50mm 1.2. L lens. The very day I got it I had a senior photo shoot. I was so excited to take it along to see what magic we would find. Not halfway through my shoot,  I reached for it from my sweet assistant ( Johnny) and somehow it tumbled onto the rocks. Busted. My heart stopped. Well, what do you do in those situations? I reached for my other lens, and put that one back in my bag. We ended up having a great shoot, but in the back of my mind I knew I had to get that lens repaired and wondered what that would entail.

Well, it’s home now, and is snuggling up nicely with my new Canon 5D mark ll. I couldn’t be happier. I have been dreaming of this set up for about a year now, stalking blog’s like Jenny Sun’s who always shoots wide open and gets more lovely bokeh and warm sun flare than I could ever imagine getting! Of course, it takes more than the right gear to get these desired effects. Jenny is extremely gifted and generous with her talent. You should check her out!

Getting this set up reminds me of a story from my childhood though. When I was about five, I remembering trying and trying to learn to ride my siblings hand-me-down bike.  It was old and wobbly. I just couldn’t get it! When I my parents finally purchased a new one, it felt like I was born to ride a bike as I soared down the street with no problems. Sometimes you just need the right equipment. Not always, but sometimes. I am so happy with my new lends and camera. Here are a few pics I have taken in the past couple days since I got it home from Canon. Yay, just yay!