Musings

Opening

August 27, 2010

The past month has been difficult for me on many levels. I have been involved in a new project that has stretched me far beyond anything I have ever done before. Stress and performance can do odd things to a person. I have tried so hard not to, but day by day, I have felt myself closing up on the inside. Afraid of failure, and unsure of what to do in this difficult new territory, I have inch by inch watched my spirit and soul get tangled up like a rubber band ball. Not only is this entirely unhelpful for me as a person,wife, friend, mom, and child of God, but it has shut me down creatively as well.

“Unfurl me”, I begged God, digging my heels in, but to no avail.  Hard to hear someone speak when you have your hands clasped over your head and ears. Hard to breathe when you are holding your breath. I so wanted to please Him, to please my client, to please my family. Please. A polite but violent word when it is all you are doing. Pleasing.

Yesterday, I had to get out. To watch the sunset. I have seen them, the little puffs that form on the end of the long fescue grass. They capture and hold sunsets, if only briefly, every evening at dusk. With my macro lens in hand, I set out to capture those that capture glory. Don’t we all want to hold it a little while? I found them, and I could feel it happening. Worship. Worship of my God, and then gratitude. Gratitude that He never changes. He will always breathe rays of sunshine into puffs of fescue. He will always blow kisses into my heart. My heart bowed and worshiped my King, and I opened. Pouring out praises to Him as I pressed my shutter button, tears rolled and the rubber band loosened.

I should know these things. That He is always God. That His glory opens my heart. That worship helps me get my perspective again. He is God, and today I know that. I only pray He helps me again with every tomorrow He gives me.

“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.”  ~ Lamentations 3:22-23

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4 Comments

  • Reply cm August 27, 2010 at 11:44 am

    Very nicely said. . .

    Worship always works.

  • Reply Mama August 27, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    So beautiful, my darling! I love that hymn.

    “Great is Thy faithfulness,” O God my Father,
    There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
    Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not
    As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.
    “Great is Thy faithfulness!” “Great is Thy faithfulness!”
    Morning by morning new mercies I see;
    All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—
    Great is Thy faithfulness,” Lord, unto me!

    Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
    Sun, moon and stars in their courses above,
    Join with all nature in manifold witness
    To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

    Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
    Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
    Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
    Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

  • Reply Jaimie Dee August 29, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    Beautiful pictures!!! Absolutely LOVE the backlighting! 🙂

  • Reply Dinah August 30, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    MaryAnne…God gave you this talent you have…….God is in your work and his glory shines through it…….He has tremendous plans for you and you are growing each day…….You are beautiful inside and out and you have such passion…..I am so proud of you!

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