In the Quiet
Canon 5D Mark ll, 100mm 2.8 macro, 3.5 aperture, 1/80 shutter, 250 ISO
When the shadows stretch long across the earth, the light pouring in through my favorite stained glass, I feel it. The table is empty. The house is quiet.
The week before she left for Oxford, Annie shared one of her favorite C.S. Lewis quotes with me, and it is still ringing in my ears. In his book Mere Christianity, Lewis states, “One soul in the whole of creation you do know: and it is the only one whose fate is placed in your hands. If there is a God, you are, in a sense, alone with Him.”
Meeting Place
When our children are small, we as moms have a difficult time ever feeling alone, much less differentiating our own souls from the souls of our children. Our whole life feels enmeshed with theirs as we work to meet their needs, give them our undivided attention, and clean up after them. It is our joy and our job, and we do it gladly, (most of the time), without being asked. Now, as the smoke clears from all the chaos and clamor, I wonder if I really do know the one soul that has been placed in my hands. My soul.
Sometimes the ache of the empty is too much to bear, but I am finding my feet, slowly. The quiet is good. God is in the quiet. He has been there all along. He was with me when I felt like I could barely hear His voice amidst the throng, and He is with me now in the often painful silence. In fact, He is the only one who can actually climb inside, where the emptiness echoes the loudest. There, He fills. He heals. He prepares and blesses. He speaks and soothes. He whispers plans He has afoot. He breathes life and vision. He laughs and He loves. He tells me about myself, my soul. There, He finds my heart’s throne and claims it for himself.
This one soul belongs to Him. The King of glory.
I walk outside as the sun is still stretching long and warm, offering one last embrace before she retires. I receive it and swing in the hammock, heart lifting in the light.
Let the King of Glory in.
Hammock Shine
Psalm 24:7 ~ “Lift up your heads, you gates; be lifted up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in.”
3 Comments
Have you ever heard the song “I Am” by Nichole Nordeman? (Love her. Especially when it’s just her and the piano.) Anyway, I digress. Your post today made me think of this song. (So many times I think of a song to express what I’m feeling.) You should try to find a recording of this song and listen to it, wallow in it, swim around in it until your fingers get all pruny. I will attach the lyrics to read, but hearing her sing it is the best, of course. I love the message of this song….that God is I AM…..He is present with us, no matter our current season of life. He is always there, being whatever we need Him to be in our present. Thanks for your blog….I always reap encouragement from your words.
* I Am *
(by Nichole Nordeman 2002 Ariose Music)
Pencil marks on a wall, I wasn’t always this tall
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed.
You watched my team win, and watched my team lose
Watched when my bicycle went down again
When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
And I said Elbow Healer, Superhero, come if you can
You said, I Am
Only sixteen, life is so mean
What kind of curfew is at 10 pm?
You saw my mistakes and watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I’d never love again
When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
And I said Heartache Healer, Secret Keeper, be my best friend
You said, I Am
You saw me wear white by pale candlelight
I said ‘forever’ to what lies ahead
Two kids and a dream, with kids that can scream
Too much it might seem when it is 2 am.
When I was weak, unable to speak, still I could call You by name
Oh, Shepherd Savior, Pasture Maker, hold on to my hand
You said, I Am
The winds of change and circumstance
Blow in and all around us
So we find a foothold that’s familiar
And bless the moments that we feel you nearer
When life had begun I was woven and spun
You let the angels dance around the throne
Who can say when, but they’ll dance again
When I am free and finally headed home
I will be weak, unable to speak, still I will call You by name
Creator, Maker, Life Sustainer
Comforter, Healer, My Redeemer
Lord and King, Beginning and the End
I Am, I Am
Thank you, Jennifer! I love that song. It has always moved me. Thank you for the reminder again today. Blessings to you!
Mary Anne
“The one soul that has been placed in my hands . . . ”
Great way to think about it.
These are great thoughts, great writing.