Yes to New

Posted on 12. Jan, 2015 by .

12
Good Morning

Good Morning

It has been over a week since I declared The Year of Yes, and I am slowly finding my way into this acquiescence. My yes has to be cultivated and nurtured, just like gratitude and a sense of wonder. These treasures must be tended to oh so carefully in our lives, protected against the choking weeds of distraction and fear. It’s a slow and diligent process. This week as I waited for my son in a busy coffeeshop, I was drawn to the light encircling the rims of the coffee mugs on display. “Yes, I see you there” I said to my Father who is tenderly leading me out of this numbed state and into dancing again. Simultaneously, the voice of my enemy  mocks me. “Light on coffee mugs? Silly,” he stings. Yes, light on coffee mugs. And no, not silly. I am learning to see again. I turn my back on the scoffer who makes small of the beauty that God uses to make me whole.

I have known fear this last year. My chest seizes tight even now. Anxiety has become an unwelcome companion in this last season. He has walked so close to me that I nearly believed he was part of me. He crept in on the folds of grief’s garments. I am now seeing this more clearly. He latched hold when a relationship shattered into pieces, shifting in quietly and heavily, like a heavy cloud that blocks the sun.

But I declare it now in this moment- “Fear is not part of me”.  I read it on Ann Voskamps’s post today. “The answer to anxiety is the adoration of Christ”. Yes. Yes! I will give God my yes. I will let this last season rest in the deep with all it’s pain and weariness. I will let it go to God. He alone can hold all these things.

The sun is rising again, with all her glory and colors. God is doing a new thing and I am so grateful.

Yes to new, Father. Yes to you.

Isaiah 43:19 ~”See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

Yes to New

Yes to New

 

 

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Yes to Wonder

Posted on 01. Jan, 2015 by .

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Hello Wonder

Hello Wonder

I am feeling a good bit of trepidation as I sit to type my thoughts concerning a new project in 2015. Projects are scary. I was able to complete a 365 in 2011, but not without much sacrifice. I failed in my attempt to do another 365 in 2014. This project will be different, and yet still the same I hope. In each challenge I grew spiritually and as an artist. I also got to know people I never would have met otherwise and I learned to trust God on a level I had not known before. I want those same things now, but I don’t desire to put the the 365 pressure on myself. It has been a tough year raising puppies (the reason I dropped my second 365) and I am tired to put it mildly. Truthfully, I am exhausted.

There have been other factors that have contributed to my general sense of malaise. We have had some breakdown in relationships that have caused us deep pain. Nothing can dull the heart like pain. In my efforts to move on I have found myself closing my heart. When the heart shuts down, no life flows in or out. I have lost my sense of wonder. I have lost my yes.

I am choosing, begging God to help me give him my yes in 2015. I want to say yes, no matter what the year brings. This is a frightening thought. What if there is more pain? More suffering? What if?

Recently I asked a friend to pray my for heart. She didn’t know the details but she came back to me with a scripture that she felt God gave her for me.  It was Isaiah 26:3,4  ”You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.”

When I trust God I can give him and others my yes. I can say yes to whatever the day brings because he alone holds my heart. Not every yes is a happy one. There will be pain, that is most certain. But there will also be joy, and how can I truly know one without the other? My heart has to be open to know them both. I cannot pick and choose which one I will receive. Only God can do that.

I want this to be the year of yes.

Today’s yes is to wonder. Never do I want to take wonder for granted. This morning, I felt the smallest inkling of it when the sun cast herself across the greenery on my kitchen table. I remembered. I remembered the childlike heart that God put in me as I sprayed the greenery with water and photographed the droplets in the morning light. Joy gently nudged me and I nodded my head yes.

Yes. God is good and he can have my yes. Here’s to a year of many yes’s to come.

Happy new year.

Psalm 62:5 ~”Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him”. (emphasis mine)

Glistening Joy

Glistening Joy

Beauty

Beauty

Perfect

Perfect

 

 

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